Have You Seen This Man?
by Sejitsu
Summary: Kakashi comes back from a mission, only to find a mask-less picture of himself in the jounin lounge. Now that everyone seems to think they know how he looks, how is he going to find someone that believes otherwise to help him catch the culprit? SHONEN-AI
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **Please note that this is a KakaIru fic, which means malexmale! Obviously I don't own Naruto or any of the characters. Only the writing is mine.

**A/N: **Here we go! After almost a year of promises and procrastination, I'm finally getting around to editing and posting this. Just in time for Kakashi's birthday! This is my first multi-chaptered fic, and I haven't written anything this long for ages, so please be gentle with me. ^_^; But DO tell me what you think, please! I know the title and summary need help... No spoilers in this chapter. Thank you thank you thank you to my brilliant beta Beasiesgal.

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Umino Iruka was plastered.

The escapade had begun with Kotetsu and Izumo almost forcibly coercing him into going out for drinks. The convincing had been easier than it otherwise might have. He hadn't had to worry about classes the following day and had secretly thought (hoped) that a certain Jounin might be among those meeting up at the bar. Besides, it had been long enough that he couldn't remember the last time he'd spent some time with his friends; he really felt too guilty about that fact alone to decline.

The demented duo had practically dragged him away at the end of his shift at the mission's desk, as if they didn't trust him to show up on his own.

Here he was, sitting in a dimly lit corner of the bar, leaning on his elbows for support and giggling like mad. The little voice that usually told him when he was about to regret something had long passed out somewhere in the back of his mind, replaced by the warm haze of alcohol induced bliss. It was exactly the reason _why _Iruka usually refused to let him be dragged along for drinks, but such thoughts had long since evaporated along with his good judgment.

At this point, he was having trouble telling Anko apart from Kotetsu. Not that it mattered much, because judging by how much _they_ had ingested, they were probably having the same problem themselves.

"Kakashi! No way!"

Iruka was _pretty_ sure that this was Izumo he was currently talking to. It didn't really matter if it was Kotetsu or Anko instead, he supposed. "Yes way," he laughed drunkenly, a grin plastered widely over his features, and promptly poured the rest of his beer down his shirt. The chuunin looked down and pouted; he'd been aiming for his mouth, but had apparently missed horribly.

"_Wooow_, Iruka, you _are_ plastered," probably-Izumo slurred, even though he'd done the same thing not ten minutes earlier. Then, "But I can't believe it! Seriously, Kakashi? _The_ Hatake Kakashi?"

"I _know_," Iruka said, and flushed deeply, hiding his face behind both palms, because some things didn't change no matter _how_ drunk he was. He regretted revealing his little secret as soon as the words had been out of his mouth, but there was nothing for it now. The tips of his ears burned bright red. "It's just a little, harmless crush, though. Hardly very interesting, really..." The chuunin removed his hands to direct a glare towards the other chuunin. "But I swear, if he finds out, I'll _get _you, Kamizuki."

Anko chose this moment to cut in. "Yeah, but what about his face? No one's ever even _seen_ it," she slurred, then giggled. "Don't you think it's a _little _strange that so many people think he must be good looking? Maybe it really _is_ hideous, like the rumors say. Wouldn't that be funny!"

Iruka sobered up enough to frown at the boisterous kunoichi, sitting straight up. "What rumors? Don't say that, it's just mean."

"Aww, now you're defending him! How cute. But they _could _be true. Think about it. Come on, why else would he hide his face?"

"Because... Oh, I don't know. Does it even matter?"

"Must be because he loves to piss us off," Kotetsu slurred derisively.

"I wouldn't put that past him," Iruka chuckled. Kakashi probably had a face to die for, he mused, then rolled his eyes at himself for such a shallow thought. Still, hiding a gorgeous face to annoy the population of Konoha _did _seem to be something Kakashi might do. Probably would do. Probably _did_.

Iruka's musings were interrupted when all eyes turned to him, however.

"Yeah, he really got you earlier today at the mission's desk," Izumo smirked. "You'd think you'd be used to it by now, huh. Hey, is _that_ why you never get back at him, Iruka-kun? Because you're hopelessly in _looove_ with him? If it was any one of us, we'd be dyed purple by now or something!"

"Yeah, jounin or not!" Anko called out, and crossed her arms against her chest. "No fair, Iru-kun."

Iruka's face lit up of its own accord and he began stammering. "T-that's not why! It's just a _little_ crush. I am _not_ in love with him." This was _not_ a good direction for the conversation to be going, he thought, fighting down his blush. "I should dye _you_ guys purple," he muttered, still tomato red.

"So you _are_ gonna get him back?" Kotetsu pressed, elbowing the other chuunin in the ribs. "He definitely deserves it."

"Yeah, especially for hiding his face from us!" Anko added with a scowl. "He just wants to drive us all crazy." She blinked at her cup, which seemed to be empty, and then reached for Izumo's.

"Nah, he won't do it, guys, he's too in _love_ with Kakashi. Even if the man does turn out to have beaver teeth or fish lips, like the rumors say," Izumo harrumphed, and pulled a face, batting away Anko's hand.

Iruka sank down in his seat and glared at his so called friends, who apparently thought it hilarious to make fish lips and beaver teeth at him. "Yeah, well, maybe I _will_ get him back. Then I'll get all of _you_ back. I _told_ you I'm not in love with him."

"No, you won't."

"Yeah, you…_like_ him too much. Heh."

The chuunin glowered at the three, his good mood effectively put out. "Fine," he huffed in annoyance. "You'll see. And I hope you _all_ have horrible hangovers in the morning, too."

"Aww, Iruka-kun, we love you too!" they shouted after the fuming chuunin as he stumbled away from the table and towards the exit with a devious grin pasted across his features.

They _would _see. And so would that smug Kakashi. He had the most brilliant idea _ever_.

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**A/N: **Love it? Hate it? Still unsure? Everyone was OOC? Please let me know so I can work on my writing skills and write more of what you all want to read. ^_^


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Please note that this is a KakaIru fic, which means malexmale! Obviously I don't own Naruto or any of the characters. Only the writing is mine.

**A/N: **The first real chapter is up at last! So sorry for the delays everyone, though you have no idea how happy I was that you all wanted to read more, and starting asking for the next update so quickly! I appreciated every single review, favorite and subscription so I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. Please keep up the awesome feedback! I love hearing what you think. Credit goes to Beasiesgal for being my lovely beta!

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Kakashi burst through the main gates, only pausing to stop once inside. It was a pleasant surprise that he should be finished with a mission so early, and not have a handful of gaping wounds that needed immediate attention for his troubles. Tsunade should be pleased with that, he thought. It would buy him time to be lazy about the mission report for a little while. A crisp breeze whipped at his face, and the jounin breathed in, grinning underneath his mask. Finally, the weather was becoming cooler, and he was home to enjoy it.

Until the next mission, he mentally appended. And yet, returning home never got old.

Somehow, between admiring the weather and reveling in the fact that he was in familiar surroundings, Kakashi missed the twin sniggers of Kotetsu and Izumo, who had, up until that point, been nursing nasty hangovers from the night before. Any memories they may have had of the previous night's escapades were either wiped out, or hiding in some darkened corner of their minds. It was just as well, as they'd both awoken on top of Hokage tower, naked besides their hitai-ate and running late for their shifts.

The chuunin _had_ picked up a very interesting piece of gossip on their way to work, and had ever since been waiting for Hatake Kakashi to walk through the gates. By the time he addressed them with a nod, they were sitting quite stiffly, forcedly blank expressions painted across their features, and sweating slightly from the exertion.

"Kakashi-san," they said in unison, trying to look as innocent as possible. It came across as severely creepy. "Welcome back."

"...yo," Kakashi said, feeling as though he was missing something important. Obviously those two had been too long on gate duty, he thought to himself, giving them another nod before walking away. The jounin shrugged off their strange behavior; it wasn't as if they were the most sane of the village's shinobi at the best of times. Prolonged exposure to each other was obviously making matters worse. At least _he_ wasn't stuck with gate duty, which was all that mattered at this point.

Ah, life. Kakashi whipped out his ever present Icha Icha novel and headed straight towards the direction of the mission's desk, snickering happily. The only thing that could make this day better would be waiting for him there. Well, not waiting so much as working a shift at the desk. He couldn't wait to see what new comical expressions he could provoke out of the tanned sensei today.

* * *

Only when the silver haired jounin was out of earshot did Kotetsu and Izumo dissolve into a helpless fit of giggles, fists slamming on the desk they sat behind.

"He doesn't have a _clue_!" Izumo choked out, tears of amusement shining in his eyes. "Boy is he in for a surprise!"

"I wish I could be there when he _does_ find out," Kotetsu added, picturing it. "Or not. I'm sure he'd go from shocked to homicidal very, very quickly. I hope whoever did it knows how to deal with murderous jounin!"

"Whatever he does to them, it's worth it! I never thought I'd see the day when something like this would happen... "

"No kidding, Ko. No kidding."

The chuunin duo sighed in amusement. This was likely the most entertainment they'd have for a while yet. Hatake Kakashi wouldn't know what hit him. It was just too bad they couldn't thank the mastermind behind it all.

* * *

Kakashi waltzed through the doors of the mission's room, still reading Icha Icha and humming. The whole way there, people had been looking at him funny. A few had starting laughing outright, or suddenly turning to whisper to someone else. He was used to being stared at, but not in such a way that made him wonder if his hair had been dyed purple. The jounin had even checked, just in case, but hadn't found anything even remotely off about his appearance.

His mask and hitai-ate were in place, and the mess of silver hair atop his head looked as wild and unmanageable as it always did. Surely he'd been seen reading Icha Icha enough times that people would be more bewildered if he'd been seen without it. No, it had to be something else. That, or he was just being overly paranoid. It made sense, being extra paranoid just after a mission, and so he'd shrugged it off, going on his way.

Here he was in the middle of a ridiculously long line, and everyone was _still_ shooting him the strangest looks. Perhaps it was the humming, he thought absently, although it wasn't such a strange habit to have... unless you were a ninja, and thus expected to be silent most of the time. Or rather, unless you were Kakashi, and expected to be silent. It made sense, he supposed; he might be apprehensive as well if he spotted any of his fellow jounin humming for no apparent reason. Well, unless it happened to be Gai. Kakashi promptly stopped humming, raised a brow, and noticed that everyone looked away at the same time.

"Next!"

Ah, finally, the jounin thought, and stepped forward.

* * *

Iruka rubbed at his temples, willing the headache away. It had been an infinitely stupid idea to go and drink so much the previous night. He was definitely paying for it now; had been for the whole day, in fact. Heavens only knew what he'd been up to with Kotetsu, Izumo and Anko. He'd awoken with barely enough time to get dressed, utterly bewildered by the random ink stains on his hands and pieces of tape in his hair.

That hadn't been the strangest part, though. The chuunin could _not_ for the life of him figure out why the pile of clothes he'd obviously discarded at the foot of his bed reeked of... something immensely _sweet._ The closest scent he could think of was licorice, which only proved to confuse him even more. It smelled more like he'd taken a _bath _in the stuff. Themystery had had to wait, however, as his mind was still both fuzzy from sleep and in kicked into panic mode for being so late.

It hadn't helped that most of the chuunin and jounin he'd encountered so far had been acting even more strangely than usual. He could usually write off the jounin population; mild insanity was practically a rank requirement after all. That his fellow chuunin and even a good number of genin were acting so oddly was simply beyond Iruka, who could barely think due to his monstrous headache. He'd been unable to put his finger on what it was, but it seemed as if they all had one collective secret.

Iruka had finally tuned them out, putting all of his focus into his work, when he looked up to deal with the next unhinged shinobi. And inwardly groaned. Hatake Kakashi. Of _course. _It would make sense for the jounin to appear out of nowhere to help a bad day go even further downhill. The chuunin forced a polite smile onto his face, and extended his hand for the mission report.

"Ah, Kakashi-san, welcome back."

"Maa, Iruka, you _know_ I can't stay away from you too long..." Kakashi had the audacity to wink and raise his visible brow suggestively. That bastard was grinning under his mask, Iruka just _knew_ it. Still, he bit back his retort and looked over the mission report. This time, the tanned sensei actually groaned aloud.

It was as if Kakashi had some sort of ongoing game in his head where the only object was to infuriate the chuunin as much as possible and still escape with all his limbs intact. The jounin had managed to cut it pretty close so far, much to the Kakashi's amusement and Iruka's chagrin. In Kakashi's arsenal of extreme annoyances was the much dreaded mission report of doom. One of these days, Iruka swore he was going to find out of the Jounin was really this careless and ridiculously sloppy, or if he did it just to tick off poor desk chuunin with hangovers.

"Kakashi-san, seriously...?" Iruka couldn't help himself. He massaged his temples and glared at the smug jounin. "I can't even read this!" Sometimes he couldn't understand how Kakashi had ever graduated from the academy when genin had better penmanship than the jounin dared to turn in.

It didn't make sense, because Iruka could swear there was a time where Kakashi's mission reports were more legible than they'd been lately, if even if by the tiniest bit. Either that, or the frustrated chuunin had taken to dreaming it. The sensei hated to admit that some of his better dreams lately had consisted of perfectly legible mission reports and more real flirting than the mean teasing sort he usually received from the eccentric jounin.

Iruka frequently wished he knew what in the world possessed Kakashi to keep up such ridiculous behavior when he barely knew the other man. It was the absolute last thing he wanted to put up with today.

Kakashi bent down until his eye was perfectly level with Iruka's own, and blinked. "Earth to Iruka? You have the report upside down, you know."

"Eh?"

Iruka looked down and blanched. Kakashi was right! The chuunin hastily turned the report right side up, sighing when it didn't become more legible at all. He looked back up and flushed bright red. The jounin's covered nose was nearly touching his own, and Iruka just _knew _the other man had to be biting back his laughter at the whole situation. Certainly that hadn't been a flicker of concern in the jounin's lone eye. Whatever it had been, it was gone when the sensei blinked.

"You know, I think you ought to come to my apartment after work... You know, to _relieve stress_." Kakashi leered pointedly to accentuate the statement, his teasing lilt back in full force, barking out a laugh when Iruka flushed even darker.

"You...!"

Kakashi narrowly dodged the fist, noting that Iruka hadn't tried to hit him nearly so hard as he'd attempted to the day before. It was a pity. "I'll take that as a dismissal, then, Iruka-sensei! Till we meet again? Ja ne!" The jounin practically danced out of the door, sniggering under his breath, without waiting for the chuunin's stamp of approval on his report. Yep, _that _was the expression he'd been going for. The sensei's face and neck had turned practically crimson. Kakashi's day was pretty complete as far as he was concerned. His much loved book reappeared as he jauntily trekked down the street, ignoring any stares or whispers.

Meanwhile, Iruka was just starting to recover from his blush. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. One of these days, he was going to accept Kakashi's offer for 'stress relief' and be in for a world of trouble and embarrassment. But at the very least, it might leave the jounin speechless for a few merciful seconds. The chuunin grumpily called to the next person in line. Now, his head _and_ chest ached, though in completely different ways.

Kakashi's reading was interrupted by Genma, who had suddenly appeared in front of him, apparently on his way to the mission's desk. The honey haired man took a step back, eyes widening. "K-kakashi!" He bit down hard on his senbon, unknowingly mirroring Kotetsu and Izumo's creepily innocent looks from earlier. Kakashi raised a brow, suddenly suspicious. He'd known Genma for years, and this was definitely strange behavior for the special jounin. Well, strange when it was directed towards him, of all people.

"I'm sorry, is there something on my face?" Kakashi's brows knit together in confusion, although only one of them was visible. "Has everyone become crazier while I was away? Don't tell me; Naruto became hokage and everyone suddenly went mad. Clearly I'm missing something."

That did it. Genma broke into nervous hysterics and almost swallowed the senbon. "Ahahaha- I'm sorry, it's just that... Well... I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough." With that, the special jounin disappeared in a puff of chakra smoke.

Kakashi just stood there, bewildered. What was _that_ supposed to mean? Just what was he expected to figure out 'soon enough'? Had Iruka not practically thrown him out of the missions room, the jounin would have started there; it was well known as Gossip Central among the other shinobi. Kakashi supposed the next best place to go would be the jounin lounge; it would give the chuunin some time to cool off in case he needed to go back after all. Either way, he was going to get to the bottom of this... whatever it was. Such strange behavior among everyone in his village was putting him at definite unease.

Hands flying through seals, Kakashi disappeared in a cloud of smoke and a swirl of leaves. He reappeared inside the jounin lounge, where a large crowd stood around the bulletin board. Well, that would probably be a good place to corner someone long enough to get an answer...

The more logical side of his brain tried to convince him that not everyone could be in on whatever Genma was, but then he spotted Raidou. Surely _he _would know something. Or at the very least, why the senbon enthusiast was acting like he'd missed his a psych evaluation.

Just then, someone turned around and promptly choked on a fit of giggles. "It's him! He's here!"

Kakashi blinked as all eyes rested on him at once. They were all either hysterics or trying and failing to stifle their mad laughter. And they were all staring at _him._ The masked jounin promptly marched up to see what they'd all been gaping at. He _was _going to get to the bottom of this.

No one seemed to be able to hold his eye contact at this point, but their expressions of mixed guilt and amusement were telling enough. They all began to edge away from the bulletin board, and it was only Raidou who had the courage to clear his throat and point at something on it, edging away slowly as Kakashi's eyes followed what he'd been pointing towards.

The masked jounin blinked, at a complete loss for words. It was a photograph of himself. With his mask off. _Off_! Kakashi visibly flinched, mind working furiously to process what his eyes were seeing, yet totally unable to comprehend it.

Behind him, the crowd collectively held their breath, waiting to see what would happen. Some of the smarter ones had enough presence of mind to back away slowly and put as much distance between themselves and the famed Copy Nin.

"What in _Kami's _name-!"

Kakashi reached up to tear the picture from the wall, holding it close to his face, as if it was the most unbelievable thing he'd seen in his life. In fact, it was quite close to being just that, and everyone watched closely as he reached up to lift his hitai-ate to study the photograph with both eyes, the sharingan spinning lazily.

He opened his mouth, and then closed it, repeating the action several times. Right. Not a genjutsu then? But how... _How_?

"He's lost it," someone from the crowd whispered, and the group collectively took another step backwards, unable to tear their eyes from the elite shinobi, who had never looked more confused in his entire life. Hatake Kakashi was _speechless._

_

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**A/N: **Please let me know what you thought about it so I can improve! Reviews are love!


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Please note that this is a KakaIru fic, which means malexmale! Obviously I don't own Naruto or any of the characters. Only the writing is mine.

**A/N: ***dies of embarrassment* I'm so, so, _so_ sorry this took so long to get updated. I can't believe a month has passed, and I really hope I haven't lost any of my readers. *shame* To those of you who reviewed (especially you anons I can't reply to!), added this story to your favorites, etc., I am so incredibly flattered, and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! It's longer than the others, so hopefully that will make up for my absence. Gomen! Thank you to Beasiesgal for being my ever patient beta. Please keep up the lovely, lovely feedback you guys keep showering me with! I'm always excited to hear your thoughts.

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The image that stared back at Kakashi was a grotesque one to be sure, even when stacked up against all of the other horrifying things the man had seen in his lifeline. He gave an involuntary shudder, still trying to make some sense of what he was seeing, and still failing miserably. The picture began as a standard one, the alarming part starting just where his mask usually hid his face. Where his well proportioned mouth and perfect teeth were supposed to reside, there instead were two hideously large lips staring back at him with long beaver-like teeth peeking out. If not for the fact that it was _his_ face peering rather creepily back at him, the jounin himself would have had trouble believing the image was a false one.

Kakashi finally looked up at the crowd, speechless. His aura of killing intent currently seemed to be doing battle with the feeling of sheer bafflement that still gripped him. A million thoughts buzzed through his head and for possibly the first time in his life, he had difficulty holding onto one. The jounin fought to keep the puzzlement off of his face, going for the most simple query he could muster. "Who...?"

"No one knows," someone piped up. "But we're pretty sure it went up a few hours ago..."

"Yeah, and there are more around the village."

"But I don't _look _like this!" Kakashi exclaimed helplessly, hands shaking. As he glanced from face to face, everyone averted their eyes and the jounin had a sudden, sinking feeling of dread. They didn't believe him! _Him! _Then again, he was having just as much trouble believing the whole situation as reality. "I'm _serious_! This is the most ridiculous excuse for a joke I've ever seen! This isn't how I look!"

"_Right_," someone murmured sarcastically. Luckily for them, Kakashi couldn't be sure as to who it was.

The crowd shuffled around, some making for the exit while others guiltily tried to hide their disbelief or amusement by turning their heads or hiding their mouths behind their hands. Kakashi looked imploringly to Raidou, who looked pointedly uncomfortable from where he stood. Sure, they weren't the best of friends, but they _had _been on more than a few missions together. Surely Raidou didn't believe this?

"Look, Kakashi... I'd like to believe you, but you know... It would explain an awful lot."

"But," Kakashi began, then promptly stopped, cursing his luck as realization dawned on him. Of all the people to be arguing with about this, Raidou was probably the poorest choice, given the situation at hand. Face. Whatever. Kakashi clenched his teeth in annoyance, forcibly pushing down the growl of frustration that threatened to escape his lips.

"_Look_," the tokubetsu continued, "No one _important_ is going to think differently of you because of what your _face_ looks like." Turing around, Raidou glared pointedly at the crowd. "_Right_?" He turned back to Kakashi, smiling apologetically. "C'mon, it's not that big a deal. We were bound to find out sooner or later, right? I'm sure everyone will forget about it as soon as some other piece of gossip comes up."

"But I really don't look like this!" Kakashi spat out, glaring at the paper. He just couldn't _believe_ this!

"Well, you'd say that anyways, right?" Raidou edged towards the door, hands up in defense. "Anyways, if that is the case, you of all people know how to remedy the situation." The special jounin shrugged, letting out a defeated sigh.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed at the retreating crowd. There _was_ a way to set this straight. Which was what bugged him the most. Whoever was responsible for this had effectively backed him into a corner, whether they knew it or not. He'd either have to reveal his face or live with the mockery until the village tired of it all. Someone had done all this damage without even laying a finger on him, and if they thought the jounin was going to let it go, they were going to be in for a seriously nasty surprise.

"I'm not doing it," he muttered to no one in particular, crumpling the paper in his fist. "I _will_ get to the bottom of this." Taking a deep breath, Kakashi forced himself to stay calm as he considered his options. There was no way he was going to be beaten this easily. Oh, no. Whoever had done this wouldn't know what hit them, when he caught up to them. Their plan might have been a clever one, but he was a _genius_.

Kakashi allowed himself a small smirk before biting his thumb and making the necessary hand signs. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!" An annoyed looking pug poofed into existence, sitting atop his other hand.

"Yes, boss?"

"Listen carefully, I need you to track something for me..."

* * *

Iruka stifled a huge yawn, intent on filing away the last of the leftover paperwork before his shift was over. Genma was _supposed_ to be here any minute to relieve him. Although, knowing Genma, Iruka was prepared to stay a few minutes late. The chuunin looked up at the clock tiredly, giving a small sigh. Somehow, his shift seemed to last a lot longer than usual today. Perhaps it was the headache that had been tormenting him since morning, or the fact that he hadn't had any classes today, it being the weekend. He actually missed his students, especially after dealing with crazy shinobi all day. Either way, he just wanted to be on his way.

Raising his arms above his head, Iruka stretched, trying to work some of the tension out of his shoulders. He sensed a mischievous presence seconds too late, tensing up.

"Hah!"

Biting down on a yelp of surprise, the teacher turned his head to glare at Anko, who currently seemed bent on attacking his unguarded ribs. She stuck out her tongue, dodging a playful swipe, all the while giggling at his exasperation.

"Anko!"

"Nii-san, you must be really distracted for me to sneak up on you like that! Daydreaming about Kakashi again? That was some prank you pulled... I almost forgot how sadistic you can get when you try!" The kunoichi stuffed her hands into her coat pockets, rocking on her heels, just outside of Iruka's immediate attack range.

This time, Iruka did let out a strangled yelp, face going scarlet. "What are you talking about!" A feeling of dread coiled in his stomach as he desperately tried to remember the previous night's events. He hadn't told anyone- he _couldn't _have! It was all a blur to the chuunin, however, and just trying to remember made his temples throb.

"You can't be serious," Anko blinked owlishly, before erupting into another fit of cackling. "Oh, Iru-kun, you have it _bad_. I can't believe we didn't notice before!"

"We...?" the chuunin asked weakly, and suddenly sensed that his day was about to get a whole lot worse.

"You really don't remember? Last night over drinks? You told us _all _about your cute little _crush_, and then you threatened us... But since none of us are purple, I guess we're safe for now. Ooh, but you _did_ get Kakashi! I wish I'd seen his face when he saw!"

"And I thought it was a mercy that I couldn't remember last night," Iruka groaned, burying his face in his arms. What had ever possessed him to bring up Kakashi last night? Suddenly, the rest of Anko's earlier statement registered, and the chuunin quickly looked up again. "Wait, what you mean I _got_ him?"

Anko looked entirely too pleased with the situation, Iruka thought, sensing impending doom. The kunoichi never grinned like that without reason. Or dango. _Lots_ of dango. The grin was downright predatory in nature and it made the chuunin instinctually want to hide under his desk.

"I wonder if Kotetsu and Izumo can remember... I can't believe _you_ don't, though! Maybe we should talk about it over drinks tonight!" Anko tapped at her chin as if deep in thought.

Iruka held his hands up, shaking his head frantically. "I don't know what you're talking about, but there's no _way_ you lot are getting me to go out for drinks again. Never mind the hangover I've had all day and my apparent memory loss. Just..._ please_ tell me I didn't do anything stupid."

"Stupid? No way, Iru-kun! Your pranks are always _brilliant_," Anko purred.

"...you're not going to tell me are you."

"Has anyone ever told you how fun you are to antagonize, nii-san?"

Iruka just glared, flushing even brighter than before. Apparently Kakashi wasn't alone in his strange fascination with tormenting him. Kami! He still couldn't believe he'd let such a carefully hidden secret out after a few drinks. It was shameful for a ninja. Worse yet was that he couldn't remember any of what had supposedly taken place, which was never a good sign.

"Fine, fine. Just promise you won't dye us purple? After what I saw in the jounin lounge today, I'm convinced that no one's safe from your fiendish ways. You should go take a look! I heard Kakashi was pretty shaken."

Iruka rubbed at his temples miserably. Clearly, Anko was bent on talking in circles just to rile him up until he exploded. What was with jounin and that strange hobby they seemed to share lately? On one level, he really, really didn't want to know what he'd supposedly been up to. And yet, there was still a bit of morbid curiosity as to what could have made Anko so thoroughly amused.

"Sorry I'm late," Genma chose that moment to waltz into the missions room, grinning around a senbon while glancing at the clock sheepishly. "At least I'm not Kakashi, eh? You would have been here all night."

Iruka just sighed, gathering his belongings. "I guess I'm going to the jounin lounge, then. Apparently there's something very interesting I need to see in there." The chuunin gave a nod to Anko and Genma, who had both dissolved into a fit of giggles at the mention of it, before he turned on his heel to leave.

Something told him he hadn't even heard the worst of whatever 'it' was, yet.

* * *

Kakashi was more unhappy than he'd been in a long, long time. Even that mission where he'd forgotten to bring Icha Icha along hadn't left him feeling so frustrated as he felt now. It didn't help that he had a cantankerous pug's congested yammering to put up with on top of it all. How such a nice day had dissolved into such a miserable mess was beyond him. Villagers avoided him left and right, sensing the thick aura of annoyance and discontent that practically stuck to his person. It didn't, however, stop them from pointing and laughing regularly.

"There's no _way_ we're gonna find whoever did this by scent alone, boss."

It was the umpteenth time Pakkun had said something similar that day, and Kakashi just growled in response. The pug sniffled loudly before sneezing. "They definitely knew who they were dealing with. I'd _better_ get a steak for all this trouble, boss."

Running a hand through his hair, the jounin's shoulders slumped even further in near defeat. "I can't _believe_ this," he hissed, glaring at everything and nothing at the same time. There had been so many scents on the paper and in the jounin lounge alone that Pakkun had become almost instantly congested. He'd started talking funny hours ago, and had become completely useless for tracking _anything_ shortly thereafter. Kakashi didn't really know why he'd made the diminutive pug stick around in such a state, though he had to admit that it was better than being alone for now.

Whoever was behind all of this had deftly anticipated Kakashi's first reaction, as Pakkun had pointed out at least ten times. Not only had they only posted the photo in such a high traffic area, but they had gone to great lengths to mask their scent and affect Pakkun's sense of smell even further.

"That aniseed oil was clever, boss. Clever but mean."

Kakashi had to agree, even though the thought annoyed him greatly. It wasn't just clever, it was downright _brilliant_. The culprit had poured aniseed oil right where everyone in the jounin lounge would be sure to step in it, thus creating a thousand crisscrossing trails to be dealt with. Pakkun's sensitive nose had been assaulted before he even took the first whiff, and he'd been complaining about a headache for some time. Though the jounin was loathe to admit it, he knew they wouldn't be getting to the bottom of the mess by relying on scent to track the culprit. The rest of his ninken would doubtlessly end up like Pakkun if he summoned them, which left Kakashi at a loss as to what his next move should be. Apparently, aniseed oil was a very common thing for shinobi and villagers alike to buy. Stopping at at least eight different stores hadn't given them any clues whatsoever.

Pakkun unexpectedly stopped in the middle of the street, glaring up at his master. "Are you even listening? Is that crumpled scrap of paper really that important? This doesn't seem like official mission business, somehow."

Kakashi sighed heavily, briefly looking heavenward in hopes that he'd get an answer, or even a tiny clue. He was going to get an endless amount of grief over this, he knew, but Pakkun could be ruthlessly unrelenting when he wanted to be. At least it would be one less thing to worry about. The jounin wordlessly uncrumpled the offensive piece of paper and thrust it at his grumpy dog, muttering something under his breath.

"Excuse me?"

"I _said_, I don't look like that!"

Pakkun examined the paper. Though it was crumpled, he could instantly see what his master was so upset over. What a hideous face! Not only that, but it looked frighteningly realistic. If he didn't know better, he'd have definitely believed it was the real deal. The pug chuckled despite his sinus afflictions, his entire frame shaking from the effort of not letting giggles turn into full blown guffaws.

"That's rich! Hah! Whoever did this was a genius, that's for sure! An evil _genius_!"

"It's not funny, Pakkun! Now everyone thinks I really look like that, and they won't be convinced otherwise unless I take off my mask!" Kakashi's voice had taken on a tone of petulant hysteria at this point.

"Well, there's an easy solution, then." Pakkun regarded his master with a deadpan expression, though still howling with laughter on the inside. Just _wait_ until the rest of the pack found out about this! They would be in hysterics. If he didn't get a steak for his troubles very soon, they certainly would be hearing about it all; and in great detail.

"Not a chance! There's no way some prankster is going to have me backed into a corner like this! I'm not going to let someone's idea of a bad joke ruin what I've been keeping secret for years!"

"You talk as if it's a matter of life and death, Kakashi. Honestly, it's just your face."

"But-!"

"Well, that's _your _business, but I'd just _l_ove to know how you plan on finding this culprit." The ninken snickered. It rather sounded like a choking cat, Kakashi itched to point out, but refrained. One person plotting his downfall was quite enough for today. "I wouldn't like to be in his place when- _if _you find him!"

"Oh, I'll find him all right..." And when he did, he wouldn't even know where to _start_ with them. If there was even anything _left_ to start with, by that time.

"Still..." Pakkun looked back at the picture, mirth once again threatening to get the better of him. "This is utterly priceless! It makes perfect sense if someone _hasn't_ ever seen your face before..."

"That's just the thing! I can't believe no one believes me!" Kakashi wanted to pull his hair out from the sheer frustration of it. So wrapped up in his own thoughts was the jounin that he ran slap-bang into someone as he rounded the corner, knocking them over. The jounin could practically feel people turn to stare at him incredulously. The _Copy Nin, _of all people, quite literally running into innocent bystanders. Honestly, the day _could not_ get worse.

Or... maybe it could, Kakashi thought glumly when he saw a familiar scar bisecting his victim's face and wide brown eyes staring back at him. His heart sank further when he saw Iruka's hand reach for the half crumpled piece of paper he must have lost hold of in his surprise. It was too late to make a mad dive for the incriminating piece of paper without humiliating himself further, so the jounin did what he was best at, adopting an air of cool nonchalance when chuunin's gaze finally settled on him.

"Hello, Iruka-sensei. Fancy running into you here."

Kakashi thought he saw a vein begin to pop out on Iruka's forehead as the chuunin's face turned bright red, but he could just as easily have imagined it. Offering his hand to help the other man up, the jounin reached behind his head to rub at his neck sheepishly with his other hand. "Maa, sorry about that, by the way. I've been a bit... distracted, today. Who knew a single piece of paper could cause so much trouble?"

"This one?" apparently Iruka couldn't help but glance at it, and his eyes nearly bugged out when he did. "Is _this_ what was in the jounin lounge?" The tanned sensei paled considerably. Probably in disgust, Kakashi thought glumly, though he was amused with the sensei's quick hue change. The jounin could feel his cheeks start to burn despite himself.

"I don't look like that!" he said hastily, snatching the offending article from the chuunin's grasp. Apparently Iruka's blush was contagious, because soon the jounin's entire face suddenly felt like it was on fire. He was never going to live this down, he just _knew_ it. "Not that I can get anyone to believe me," he added, scowling to hide his embarrassment.

"I believe you," Iruka said simply, wearing a slightly dazed expression, and Kakashi's head snapped up to regard the chuunin with unveiled surprise in his visible eye.

"You _do_?" Kakashi ignored Pakkun's obviously amused snort.

"Well, at least when you say you don't look like _that_," Iruka pointed towards the offending photograph. "Not that you have the best reputation for honesty," he added, stifling a nervous chuckle as he brought a hand up to rub at his facial scar.

Kakashi merely grunted in response, but begrudgingly had to admit to being glad that _someone_ was on his side... That it was _Iruka_ of all people was a bit... shocking. He wouldn't have blamed the chuunin if he'd started to laugh outright. Then again, it was just like the tanned sensei not to think ill of anyone, the jounin mused. Kakashi fought the urge to crumple the hateful piece of paper again as Iruka edged closer to inspect it. The chuunin let out a low whistle, eyes widening once again.

"Hmm. I have to say, it's pretty convincing. Someone must have known what they were doing..." Once again, Iruka trailed off almost nervously.

"Yeah, I figured that much out myself... The question is, who? When I get my hands on them..."

"Well, I'd have to say that half of Konoha has a pretty good motive. Everyone who has ever wanted to see your face... Well, this is their chance, if you give in and take off your mask and reveal your handsome face just to prove everyone wrong. Very clever, really." Iruka spoke as if in a rush, without so much as stopping to catch his breath. His face turned redder and redder by the minute.

Kakashi raised a brow, leering slightly. "Mmm... So you think my face is handsome, Sensei? Sorry to disappoint you, but compliments won't get the mask off either..." The jounin gave his signature one eyed smile at the chuunin's indignant blush, which was threatening to overtake the sensei's neck as well as face.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Iruka bit his lower lip, obviously trying to force his traitorous blush down with sheer willpower. So far, it didn't appear to be working. Kakashi simply couldn't help but push the chuunin's buttons, as the reactions were always worth it. Teasing the ever-blushing sensei always proved to be ridiculously entertaining. Iruka was an enigma without even trying to be, the jounin thought fondly, neatly skirting the real reason he couldn't seem to leave the other man alone.

"Hello, I'm still here!" The annoyed voice roused Kakashi from his thoughts. He was surprised to see that it was Pakkun speaking, however, and not Iruka.

"Ah, yes, Pakkun... Did you have any other brilliant ideas as to how to track down this mysteriously devious culprit who's trying his best to outsmart us? If you can't track them by scent, there's got to be another obvious way, right?" The jounin missed Iruka's frame stiffening at his words, too busy glaring down at his dog, words heavily laden with sarcasm.

Pakkun rolled his eyes at his dim master. Honestly, some days... As if the distant look he'd been giving Iruka earlier wasn't obvious enough, the level of pheromones the jounin was exuding on top of it all was downright laughable. Not that the chuunin sensei was much better by any means.

"Actually, while I'm not sure how to go about searching for this... picture posting psycho, I have a good idea as to how you might want to go about searching for clues..."

Kakashi raised both brows in interest and looked towards Iruka. The chuunin's expression mirrored his own. "Do tell, Pakkun."

"Well," the dog began, "I think you and Iruka sensei should discuss it. You two seem to work well together. You're both obviously smart, and he's the only one who believes you, anyways."

"That's your brilliant plan," Kakashi deadpanned, ignoring Iruka's sudden fit of snickering. The chuunin was quite clearly failing at hiding his amusement. Kakashi failed to see what was so funny. Pakkun's plan hadn't been anywhere near the level of genius he needed, but it didn't sound like a _complete_ dud, all things considered.

"Just what's so funny?" Pakkun's features scrunched up in indignation as he regarded Iruka. It only proved to make the chuunin become further undone, however. "I didn't hear _you_ offering up any clever plans!"

"N-nothing! Well- it's just that you said Kakashi-san and I seem to work well together...!" Iruka's figure shook with barely contained mirth, though he tried his best to get ahold of himself.

It was oddly endearing, Kakashi thought, staring at the chuunin's lips as the man stuttered out an apology. The jounin chucked quietly, amusement shining in his visible eye. "Why, I'm hurt, sensei! Surely two are better than one. I think we'd make a great team!" he grinned so widely that the material of his mask actually stretched noticeably. Pakkun might not have known it, but he'd supplied Kakashi with a perfect opening. If he could just play his part smoothly, his ruined day might be salvageable after all.

"Really." Iruka stared at him with open incredulity and slight suspicion, but Kakashi refused to let it deter him.

"Say, Iruka-_sensei_. What do you think about discussing this mystery over dinner?"

Iruka's eyebrows looked as if they were trying to leap off of his forehead at the invitation. "You... you're kidding, right," the chuunin finally choked out, eyes wide. Kakashi frowned slightly behind his mask, but pushed on.

"Eh? Think of it as an apology for earlier. Besides, you _are_ the only one who believes me," the jounin whined almost petulantly. He tried to keep a confident air about him, but it was rapidly slipping. Iruka's continued silence was decidedly unnerving, as was the shocked look that hadn't left the chuunin's features. All in all, it was very demoralizing to Kakashi, who was hit with a wave of sudden apprehension. "We could go for sake instead, if dinner is too much," he added hastily, and nearly stumbled over his words. The small blush that warmed Iruka's cheeks did nothing to steady his erratic heartbeat. At least the chuunin wasn't scowling at him or screaming yet.

"Actually," Iruka finally seemed to calm down enough to speak, "I... think dinner might be a good idea... I never have any good ideas over sake," he chuckled nervously, but smiled nonetheless. "What time?"

"Well, I have some things to do first... How is... seven?" Kakashi's voice sounded distant in his own ears. Had Iruka really _accepted_? He could barely connect the fact that it was himself speaking. Meanwhile, Inner Kakashi was turning cartwheels at Iruka's answer.

"That's perfect. I'll expect you at nine." The chuunin pulled a wry grin at the jounin's indignant squawk of protest.

Kakashi allowed himself the briefest of hidden smiles before transporting away. At the very least, it was going to be quite and interesting night. Provided that it didn't end in disaster, of course.

* * *

**A/N: **Please let me know what you thought about it so I can improve! Reviews are love!

**PS: **Anyone who gets the aniseed reference gets a cookie. I very unfortunately did not think it up myself. (I'm not that clever, alas.)


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Writing belongs to me.

**A/N**: I am beyond ashamed at the time it's taken for me to post this next chapter, especially considering how short it is. Quite simply, RL kicked my butt, and this fic got pushed to the back burner. Cue tears of frustration with the whole thing. I apologize PROFUSELY, and hope all of you haven't given up on me just yet. ^^; Your lovely feedback makes me want to write more! Finally, a huge thank you to my beta, Beasiesgal.

* * *

First, Iruka was shell-shocked. He hardly noticed that his feet were taking him straight towards his apartment, not even shivering at the sudden breeze that whipped a few strands of umber from behind his hitai-ate to messily frame his features. It slowly occurred to the chuunin, face burning with shame and anger towards himself, that he'd just made the worst possible mistake to follow up the previous night's worst possible mistake. He'd missed his chance to immediately coming clean to Kakashi, though this fact did probably save him from a messy death for the time being.

From there, Iruka experienced a wild spectrum of emotions, ranging from utter mortification to guilt, then to depraved glee, as his principled side warred with the irrepressibly mischievous one during the short time it took him to get home. It was a messy fight to say the least, the chuunin ultimately ending up with the decidedly twisted, delightful feelings of schadenfreude and accomplishment weighing on his conscience, pushing all other emotions out of the way.

Apparently, this also manifested itself on his face. Iruka didn't even notice the smirk slash grimace of convoluted feelings that had materialized onto his features until someone had come up to worriedly ask him if he was feeling alright. Looking back on that, the chuunin decided that giving a half hysterical laugh _probably _hadn't been the best thing to do in that particular situation. His reputation would shortly be ending in flames as it was. If he even _survived_ that long. Kakashi was going to _kill_ him when he found out.

While he may have been fuzzy on the details, Iruka was sure that what he'd recently seen was the undeniable proof of his own handiwork. The morning's oddities had come back to haunt him. He'd been picking tape out of his hair for most of the day, the bits and pieces he'd collected rolled into a ball and sitting in his pocket. It had been a baffling mystery up until a few moments ago. Now, the fact that his previous day's clothes had reeked of licorice made perfect sense as well.

_Aniseed oil_, Iruka's mind supplied without trouble, smelled strongly of licorice and was often used in scent bombs to throw off trackers. It worked best in crowded areas, like the jounin lounge, which would coincide with Anko's earlier words. And, the chuunin personally preferred the scent of aniseed to the other popular alternative, peppermint oil.

Iruka finally made it to his apartment, slamming the door behind him before leaning against it and groaning in despair. He was going to be in for a world of trouble when Kakashi found out, and doubly so when the man realized that the very person who was supposed to be _helping_ to track down the culprit _was_ the culprit. Never mind that Iruka couldn't remember much, if anything, about the previous night. Still, a part of himself couldn't help but be proud. He had, at least for the time being, gotten the best of the _Copy Nin_. The ramifications caught up with him all at once so that he slid down, back against the door and face in hands.

"_Idiot_," he murmured to himself. "I must have a death wish."

Still, the hint of a smirk tried to creep out onto his face at the thought of the Copy Nin's utter bewilderment at the discovery. It gave him a rush to think that Kakashi would now be singularly devoted to catching whoever had perpetrated such a crime against his person, even if the jounin didn't know that the guilty party was hiding right under his nose. Iruka wondered if these very same thoughts had driven him to carry it out in the first place. He could not deny the simple brilliance of his plan, drunken execution notwithstanding. Getting himself volunteered for detective duty probably hadn't been a part of the scheme, but that could be worked with.

Iruka, on autopilot, trudged to his shower, still caught up in his thoughts. While he had few qualms about keeping the hoax going for a little bit, he fully planned to either get caught or confess in due time. _Hopefully_, Kakashi wouldn't hate him too much by then. A small, officious part of him wondered what in seven hells had possessed him to get himself into such a convoluted mess, and why in Kami's name hadn't he just blurted out the truth when he'd had a chance.

Warm water cascaded down, blocking out all sounds beyond the bathroom walls. It did nothing for the persistent, rapid thoughts coursing through Iruka's mind, however. Now that the initial high of getting away with such a huge prank had begun to wear off, the chuunin was starting to feel a bit insecure. He'd gone and gotten himself invited to _dinner_. With _Hatake Kakashi_. Worse yet, Iruka's heart wanted to do strange flips in his chest at the very thought of dinner with the jounin, and he was pretty sure it had nothing to do with his guilt.

Okay, so it _definitely_ didn't. The chuunin frowned into the spray of water, ducking his head under so as to drench his hair and try to drown out the treacherous thoughts. It clung to his neck and cheeks.

He would need to revise his initial plan, to proceed. It didn't help that he couldn't remember what the original plan had _been_, aside from waiting for the other man to hunt him down. He needed to think of some ways to draw attention away from himself, and he needed to do it before dinner. The chuunin's conscience made another attempt to berate him for preparing to lead Kakashi on in such a way, but again lost out to Iruka's more mischievous side. If the jounin found out _too_ quickly, everything would have been pointless. If things dragged on for too long, there was a possibility, although small, of Kakashi growing disinterested and giving it up altogether. And, he probably wouldn't take the chuunin's confession very well, if that were the case.

Iruka was startled back to reality when the water grew cold. He cursed under his breath, hurriedly twisting the taps to the off position and wondering how much time had passed. The chuunin frowned at his reflection in the mirror as he toweled himself dry. He needed more time to sort things out, or everything was going to fall flat and end up being a total waste. He could not let that happen.

This dinner might not have been under the most _ideal _of circumstances, but there wasn't much Iruka enjoyed more than a good challenge. Besides, he _had_ wanted to have dinner with Kakashi more than anything for the longest time. He would have to take what he could get, for now.

The only thing that worried him was that the jounin might already be a step ahead of him. This wasn't such a stretch, considering the fact that this was _Kakashi_. It could all be an elaborate joke; the other man might already _know_ that Iruka was the culprit, and the dinner could be part of a plan to humiliate him in retaliation.

Taking a deep breath to stave off the paranoid thoughts, Iruka sighed ruefully. This was most likely his guilt talking. He couldn't bring himself to believe that Kakashi would be _that _cruel, at least. Then again, Iruka's own hands weren't very clean either... Not that he'd been _trying _to be cruel, at the time. Although, Kakashi wouldn't have known that.

But, for now, Iruka had bigger things to worry about. Namely, what the heck he was going to wear. The chuunin ran a hand through his still damp hair, mentally going through the possibilities. It had to fall between casual and dressy, and yet not too obviously thought out. Arousing suspicion this early was not a good idea; he was preparing to go toe to toe with _Hatake Kakashi_.

* * *

Kakashi glared at his closet with such ferocity that he wouldn't have been surprised if it were to burst into flames at any moment. "I can't believe this," he muttered under his breath, pacing around. It was why he never did things without a proper plan; what on earth had possessed him to act so rashly as to arrange for a... a _date_ when he literally had almost nothing to wear in his closet?

It _wasn't_ a date, he had to remind himself. There was going to be serious conversation about serious matters. Namely, who the hell had felt that they could humiliate him and get away with it? Hopefully, with the help of Iruka, he would get to the bottom of things in time to salvage some of his dignity. _If_ he could come up with something to put on.

The jounin sighed, ran a hand through his wild hair and looked towards the ceiling as if pleading for assistance. It was already half past six, and he had no idea what in Kami's name he was going to wear. Something told him that his regular uniform probably wouldn't be quite appropriate attire.

"You aren't going to wear your uniform, are you?"

"You're a keen observer of the obvious, aren't you, Pakkun?" Kakashi turned and glared at the amount of amusement evident in the pug's voice. "To answer your question, no. If I were going to wear my uniform, do you really think I'd be standing in front of my closet that is _full of uniforms_ for half an hour, deliberating it?" Actually, he'd been about to grab one and be done with it, but there was no _way_ he would be admitting that now.

Pakkun gave the doggy approximation of a gruff chuckle. "I certainly hope not, boss. Then again, you never know with _you_..." Kakashi shot him a glare, but the pug went on. "So this chuunin really has you flustered, huh?"

"..." Flustered was safe enough to admit to, the jounin thought, except he couldn't decide on just _what_ was flustering him. Not Iruka... No, it was the prank. This was a crime against his person. People had been _laughing_, as he walked down the street. _Laughing_! He opened his mouth to whip out a snide remark, but was interrupted.

"Yep, I thought so."

If Kakashi hadn't known better, he would have sworn that Pakkun was smirking in an entirely too suspicious and knowing way. As it was, the jounin was too distracted to give note to his dog's possibly odd behavior. "Are you going to sit there making sarcastic comments all night, or are you going to help me?"

"If helping you means you get out of that towel and into some clothes faster," Pakkun deadpanned, stretching from where he sat on the bed. "Maybe you should call the others to help, boss. I had no idea you were so inexperienced with dates."

Kakashi made a strangled noise, at this. "It's _not_ a date, Pakkun."

Pakkun, for his part, had the gall to look incredulous and smug at the same time.

* * *

In the end, Iruka settled for some low slung jeans and a button up, collared shirt. He left the first two buttons undone to make it look more casual and didn't bother at all with a hair tie. This was possibly a bold move, but he'd take anything that would distract Kakashi even just a _little_ bit. He looked more young, at least, with his hair down. Well, vulnerable, Anko had put it, which had to count for _something_. Hopefully it would make him look... _innocent_. This particular outfit looked better with loose hair anyways, the chuunin thought. The shirt was a deep red in color, embroidered over the front in gold thread that formed interesting curling patterns.

The chuunin glanced at his watch, anxious. It was only five till seven, and this _was_ Kakashi, so there might still be a good wait. Iruka idly wondered if he really should expect the other man to show up around nine. The up side to this was that he would have extra time to go over his tactics for not getting caught within the first twenty-four hours.

Half an hour later left the chuunin utterly without remorse for his actions. Kakashi had definitely deserved to be pranked, if just to be taught a good lesson. Never mind that the prank had nothing to do with the jounin's chronic lateness. Still, Iruka grew more impatient and nervous as the minutes passed by. He calmed himself by plotting out his strategy; how he would divert suspicion away from himself, in ways that would keep Kakashi too occupied to become suspicious.

Iruka glanced at his watch, pacing around a bit. "What's wrong with me?" he muttered, taking a deep breath. Anxious thoughts assaulted him once again, and he couldn't help but give voice to his worries. "What if he never shows up at all? What if he's laughing somewhere because this was all a huge joke and I fell for it? He didn't give the restaurant name or anything..."

Three sharp raps pulled the chuunin from his impromptu reverie. Iruka bolted for the door with shinobi speed and nearly tripped over his low table for his troubles. The chuunin took a moment to compose himself before casually opening the door, a calm smile pasted across his features. "Kakashi-san. Please come in. Or, if you'd like to head out right away..."

Iruka's eyes travelled of their own accord, taking in Kakashi's lean frame before the chuunin forced himself to look elsewhere. He couldn't help it; the man looked _too_ good in civvies. The chuunin began to blush despite himself, straining to keep his chakra even and calm. He would never live it down if his emotions started leaking all over the place.

Kakashi hadn't answered, so the chuunin tried again. He tried not to think of the other man's outfit and how perfectly it suited him; from the thin, silver collared shirt, to the dark wash jeans. "So you came after all," Iruka breathed. How he could hold his ground in the missions room and give Kakashi a piece of his mind any day of the week, and yet stand before the same man and fight not to quiver like a leaf because they were going on a friendly dinner date together was beyond him. It might have had something to do with the man's hitai-ate being absent, Iruka mused. Kakashi had combed his hair so that it hid his left eye completely.

"You thought I wouldn't." Kakashi's visible eye crinkled. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"N-no! I just, ah... Well, you're famous for being late, that's all... And, well... I thought..." Iruka trailed off, which caused Kakashi to raise a brow and take a step closer. This did nothing for the chuunin's nervousness; he could clearly see how Kakashi's shirt clung to the man, silken material leaving very little to the imagination. Iruka swallowed, trying very hard to keep some semblance of composure. It should _not_ be this hard to keep himself from picturing Kakashi divested of the shirt and jeans, he thought. Possibly, even being in the vicinity of Kakashi made one think more perversely. Perversion no jutsu, that had to be it. It probably followed Kakashi wherever he went, the smug bastard. _The plan. Think of the plan._

"Yes?"

"Well, it was awfully silly of me, but... I thought, ah, that you might have set this up as a joke or... something." Good. This was good. Iruka rubbed at his facial scar, trying his best to look timid and unsuspicious. It helped that he _had_ been worrying about it, though now that he took into consideration what Kakashi was wearing, it was pretty much a moot point. Still, the chuunin found it rather difficult to meet the jounin's eyes. Or eye, rather, and the triangle of uncovered flesh that was all anyone ever saw of Kakashi. Underneath his silver top, Kakashi must have been wearing a silken tank with a mask attached.

"A joke? Iruka-sensei, I can't see doing something cruel like that to you, or anyone else for that matter. You really thought that?"

"Not anymore," Iruka breathed out, genuine relief coloring his features and melting his uncertain frown into a radiant, if small, smile.

"Ah, good. I am not above teasing, but I wouldn't ever do something like _that_, sensei."

A pang of guilt hit the chuunin square in the chest, and Iruka did his best to shove it away. He _was_ going to confess to Kakashi; it was just a matter of _when_. This was enough to appease his conscience for the time being. "Ah... So... where are we going to discuss this culprit, then?"

"You mean, where are we going to have dinner, right? I don't know about you, but I don't solve mysteries well on an empty stomach..." Kakashi's stomach took this moment to growl loudly. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head before taking a step back and out into the cool night air.

Iruka began to shiver just as soon as they were far away enough from his apartment to go back for a jacket. He hadn't expected it to be this cold out, and found himself wondering just where Kakashi was leading them.

"Cold, Sensei?"

"Iruka," the tanned chuunin spoke up, trying his best to be blase. "And just a bit, but I'll manage," he added, smiling. Really, the butterflies were worse than the cold. He might not able to eat at all, at this rate.

"Pardon?"

"You, ah... You can just call me Iruka. If you like."

"Aww, Ruka-ru, I'm honored!"

Iruka's blush flared up immediately as he all but choked in shock, eyes wide, stopping in the middle of the street. "W-_what_!" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Have you been talking to Anko?"

Kakashi just laughed, entirely unrepentant. "Maa, not more than usual, no... It's just a nickname. You can pick one for me if it makes you feel better." Kakashi winked, which only caused Iruka's blush to grow. The chuunin wondered if Kakashi had a personal quota to fill or something.

"Ah, no, Kakashi-san is just fine." Iruka fought the urge to roll his eyes, even as the butterflies flared up again. He preoccupied himself by trying to guess at the restaurant Kakashi had in mind.

"Suit yourself, then, Ru. But, call me Kakashi."

Iruka wrinkled his nose, but refrained from making any objections to it. Doing so would just encourage the man. Kakashi was nothing if not eccentric, the chuunin thought in a half fond, half exasperated way. "Alright... Kakashi."

Kakashi simply smiled under his mask. Iruka could tell because of the way the fabric pulled just so and the sudden onslaught of butterflies against his ribcage. He idly wondered just who was playing who, redoubling his efforts to appear mostly nonchalant.

* * *

**A/N: **Please let me know what you thought about it so I can improve! Reviews are love!


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